Some of the most amazing statues in the world are Greek statues. However, if you’ve ever seen an ancient Greek male statue in a museum, then chances are you’ve found yourself wondering, “Why do Greek statues have small packages?” As it turns out, scholars have a bunch of conflicting theories on the topic of penis sizes of ancient Greek statues. Some have suggested that large penises were considered comical and symbols of drunkenness, while others have thought that the reason why Greek statues have small genitalia is because they just aren’t erect.
You’re not alone in your curiosity of small Greek wangs. There have been many historians and researchers who have tried to find the right answer. Check out some theories that most people didn’t know about Greek statues and their anatomy below.
Some Historians Think That The Greeks Considered Big Wangs Gross
According to art historian Ellen Oredsson, the Greeks favored smaller schlongs over big boys because the latter were considered icky. On her blog, Oreddson writes:
“One of the reasons historians, such as Kenneth Dover in his landmark book Greek Homosexuality, have suggested that small penises were more culturally valued is that large penises were associated with very specific characteristics: foolishness, lust, and ugliness.”
Such big-wanged figures included Priapus, giant-penised god of fertility and gardening who was a notorious drunkard, and horny satyrs. So, if you wanted to be a good Greek guy and not a drunken loser, you’d have a small penis.